Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Randomize
