Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
