i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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