Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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