I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
