If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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