So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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