I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
