he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
