Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
