Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
