am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it hurts more in the daytime
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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