maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
