I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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