Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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