Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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