he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
