yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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