Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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