In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
