Say something about gay babies.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
