That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
