At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
