I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
