Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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