Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
