I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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