I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
