I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
