Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Randomize
