Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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