I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize