I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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