i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i out mim tonsoeep
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