some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Welp...herpes.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize