her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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