The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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