Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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