Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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