Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
It's shark week go big or go home
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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