I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
