she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Shame is for Republicans.
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