If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
