Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
