Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
