Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
