I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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