ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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