I just saw a hot homeless man
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
