she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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