some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
