Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
