He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
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