I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
