your room smells of hookers.
And success
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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