I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
there is glitter all over my balls
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
