I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
you never un-have a 4some
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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