Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
