just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
