3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
