Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
