She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
