So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
