She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
