You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
