tell your sister to shave her snatch
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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