I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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