i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize