How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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