That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
