so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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