I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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