Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
