I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
