dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
