i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
